These are the days when anything goes

I’m sitting curled up barefoot in a chair in the family room on the floor where my dad is, watching tv on my computer. its gray and gross outside and Nicole is sleeping next to me. My dad is resting, as is my mom, in his room.
Its a weird kind of limbo time. We know the hospital now, know where everything is, know what the cafeteria hours are and how the gift shop sells a book on recognizing Satan in your life. It feels quite similar to the time my grandmother was so sick, in and out of hospitals.
He will probably, thank heavens, go home tomorrow. This morning my dad looked like a human being again which was fantastic to see.
No word on the pancreas. Won’t know for a couple more weeks. This is incredibly terrifying and I am trying so, so hard to just focus on this one thing, this one day. If he has pancreatic cancer I suppose we will deal with it because there is not another choice.
But my God I hope he doesn’t. I hope this was just a fluke and we can get out of here and never, ever come back. Because I’m not ready to do this. None of us are. We will if we have to because that’s the only option, but I want so badly for there to be a different option. So please, keep up your praying and light-holding and karma sending and etc. Just hope for us, if you can, that this is nothing, just a fluke. Just hope for us that it isn’t cancer.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s