One foot in front of the other

The wait is agony.
We learned today that at least the kidney tumor was not part of any kind of pancreatic cancer, so thank God for that. It at least means that if Dad does have pancreatic cancer it is not as serious as it could be.
But. My lord. I have done some googling (I know, I know) and the survival rates for pancreatic cancer are obscenely low. So…it is really fucking scary.
And meanwhile I am trying to focus on things like school, which is nearly impossible. I can concentrate for a few minutes but then I shift to worrying. And fear. Pure fear.
I do not know how we are going to get through this. I suppose we have to, I suppose the only way is through. But it is scary as all hell. And the wait is horrible. I just want to know.

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2 responses

  1. Fez

    I have learned from our cancer support group members that "the waiting" is one of the great cruelties of having cancer, cruel and unusual punishment. When will the dr. have the pathology results?With love,Heather (CLUUC)

    September 28, 2009 at 11:29 pm

  2. I googled like crazy after Daniel was diagnosed w/ diabetes, and all that accomplished was making me cry more than what should be possible. Breathe. Try your best to stay in the present, because that keeps the fear and worry at bay. Love your dad every minute, and fill up each minute that way.Naomi

    September 29, 2009 at 1:26 am

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