Good heavens, enough already with the hospital

So I’m at the bank yesterday and before I even have a chance to go in my dad calls to say that my mom went to the minute clinic and they informed her that she might be having a stroke. So! Family trip to Sibley, because what could be more fun than another afternoon at the hospital?
Turns out she was fine. Or, not completely fine, but not having a fucking stroke. Just your average, everyday, extreme!stress+exhaustion+bug=really sick mom.
So, you know. A few hours in the ER, just hanging out reading magazines (naturally I didn’t have a book because of course I didn’t know I was going to the hospital)…
Good lord. I really feel like the universe should STOP FUCKING WITH MY FAMILY.
On the plus side, Nicole and I spent some quality time in the gift shop, examining the following books. The Strategy of Satan was quite fun, and includes a handy table at the back explaining where Satan is felt in the Bible. Or something. Bottom line: hilarious.
And let’s not forget 23 Minutes in Hell, an apparent NYT bestseller about some guy who…went to hell somehow? and came back? and then wrote a book?
My favorite, though, was Emergency Prayers, which includes such things as “I Need Grace To Pass This Exam” , “I am Guilty of Abusing a Child” (what.the.fuck.) and, FTW, the above passage about having trouble submitting to one’s husband.
Why this gift shop can’t get their shit together and just sell crappy paperbook mysteries is beyond me.


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