The minister at an RE Council meeting asked me how I’m doing tonight and that was my immediate reaction. It’s pretty accurate. I am wobbly. I am tired of waiting and I am feeling wobbly. Sometimes I forget that I’m waiting–or what I’m waiting for, to be more exact–and then I remember with a sudden jolt. I forget sometimes while I’m with the kids, or at tumbling (hard to think of anything else when trying to get a flip around–I’ll be so happy the day I finally land on my feet!) Or when I’m rowing, sometimes, and watching a good movie, or reading, or watching Glee. But then I remember.
And my brain is just all fuzzy. I have trouble with rote memorization of stuff I don’t care about at the best of times and this is not those times. So bio is kind of a fail, right now. I do try…but my mind is not so capable of taking in much more. I know this is something I need to work on in general as my memory is quite good about things I care about (ask me about the last few gymnastics teams, or what my kids are like, or the classes I teach, or anything Harry Potter, or my favorite books….) but it is much, much harder right now.
Although somehow in bio lab the other day I ended up explaining the function of spermicide and how its use in conjunction with a condom makes the latter more effective, so…go sex ed teachers! At least lab is all right.
I keep reminding myself: it might be nothing. It could just as easily be nothing. Just, as my analyst says, just make the next right choice. Just keep going. And maybe we’ll know something Friday. And then…and then at least we’ll know.


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