Forget, Remember

It’s easy to forget, sometimes. When I teach OWL, when Mark and David and I are quoting Monty Python at each other, or when we’re laughing with the kids, or when I teach 9th grade, or when I babysit, or at tonight’s block party. It’s easy to forget.
And it’s easy to remember, too. It’s easy to remember when a sudden jolt. Its easy to remember and to see the future spread out before me in all its permutations.
It was good to go to church today. It was forgetting and remembering. I forgot while I taught RE. I remembered as person after person enveloped me, said I’m so sorry and is there anything I can do. Easy to remember sitting in the ministers’ office, talking. Easy to remember.
Sometimes easier to forget. It’s a hard balance, between living in the world–which, after all, keeps going on–and living in this personal familial hell.
So I will keep remembering to live in the world and keep forgetting about my dad for a little while. And then I’ll remember, again.

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