Dear TV, Love Vanessa

Dear Parks and Rec:

Words cannot say how much I love you. You are just endlessly funny. ENDLESSLY FUNNY. Amy Poehlar, let’s get married. You might be a bit old for me, but whatever. You are SO FUNNY. and OMG, Tom’s list of euphemisms…long ass rice! Food rakes! And Ron! and Chris! Parks and Rec, perhaps we should ALL get married.

Love, Vanessa

Dear 30 Rock,

That was a really good 100th episode. I’m impressed. Although I think we should stop with the absurd idea that someone who looks like Tina Fey cannot find a boyfriend…also, Alec Baldwin may be kind of a jerk personally, but that man is FUNNY.

Love, Vanessa

Dear Castle,

I find you amusing. Actually, I find you REALLY amusing. You are totally my favorite new discovery.

Love, Vanessa

Dear Make It Or Break It,

You are SO BAD. Your acting is horrid, really, really dreadful. You know nothing about gymnastics. NOTHING. And your morality messages are just dumb. I really only watch you so I can read Spanny’s recaps.

Not so much love,


Dear Arrested Development,

I am still bitter you were canceled. Also, I quote you all the time. THERE’S ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND.

Lots of love,


Dear Veronica Mars,

I am ALSO bitter that you were canceled. And I am bitter that your last episode didn’t give us any good resolution to the whole Papa Mars/Sheriff thing. What the hell, show? Also, if Veronica were real, she and I would be BFFs.

Love, Vanessa

Dear Glee,

I have some serious issues with you that I will perhaps discuss later. Like, why the fuck is bullying Kurt NOT okay but bullying Rachel is fine? WHAT IS THAT CRAP? That said, you make you me smile, and I find your songs totally irresistible.

Love, Vanessa

Dear Modern Family,

You are the best thing on TV right now. That’s all.

Love, Vanessa


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