A Brief Litany of the Woes Experienced By My Family, Fall 2009-Present
Kidney cancer (in an image I won’t forgot anytime soon, I handed the phone to my sister so she could be told while she sat on top of my car at the beach house, fixing the bike rack)
Post lumbar puncture blood patch
Post kidney removal kidney failure
Pancreatic cancer surgery
Surgery to repair broken ankle (ORIF surgery)
“Yes, this is the minute clinic. You might be having a stroke. Better go the ER”
“Yes, this is the minute clinic. You might have meningitis. Better get to the ER”
Giant hernia requiring major surgery removed
“Yes, this is the minute clinic. Because you just had antibiotics for another sinus infection, I cannot give you anything else. You’re allergic to too much. Better go to urgent care.”
“Yes, this is your university. Yes, we are being assholes about this, and this, and this. Suck it up, where else are you going to get a degree?”
Stage 4 bladder cancer
Strongest chemo drug known to man, given in four cycles, at nearly twice as much the normal amount
Insane side effects that I won’t even get into
Modified Brostrum procedure attempted on ankle, where it turned out there was no ligament: surgery failed
Ankle reconstruction, hopefully successful, for the second time in 4 months. Lots of pain.
Turns out this kind of cancer gives one a prognosis of two to three years. That’s fun news to hear on a Thursday!
Also today: air conditioning not working (high today was 102, with a heat index well above that); roof leaking like crazy; pink eye, COBRA not working.
Universe. Give us a fucking break, already. I’m thinking swim up bar.