I Write Letters to Television

Packet Four, due October 29: I will turn in the majority of the revisions to my senior study.
Dear Revenge,
OH! You make me so happy. You also make me want to throw on a sweater, run down to the end of a jetty in the Hamptons with mansions rising up behind me, and howl REVEEEENNNNGGGGEEEEEEE at the moon. You are just so deliciously campy, and your actors take the camp thing so seriously–none of this “wink wink we are campy!” at the audience–that you could not possibly be more fun. Keep up the great work, and make sure you surprise us with that body in the boat.
Love, Vanessa

Dear Parks and Recreation,
OMG I LOVE YOU. you aren’t yet back to Season 3 greatness, but I have faith. Shall we discuss why? YES WE SHALL. 1. you are the most feminist show on tv. Leslie doesn’t give up her dream career for her boyfriend! They make consent jokes rather than rape jokes! Andy tells the women’s studies teacher that she can pay for her own dinner “because equality!” THERE IS A LAURA MULVEY/MALE GAZE JOKE. The characters all like each other! There isn’t any meanness but it’s still incredibly funny! There’s a really solid female friendship at the core! Even though I am a hardcore vegetarian I agree with Ron Fucking Swanson that too few people look into their food’s eyes. Also Ben and Leslie and April and Andy! EEEK.
Love, Vanessa

Dear Parenthood,
You are my favorite hourlong show currently on. You really are quite well done, and the Race Talk Jasmine had with Jabbar was one of the most bracingly honest things I’ve ever seen television do. Now just give Sarah something better to do and let Drew and Camille have the occasional plot. Keep up the excellent, excellent work. Win some Emmys next year!
Love, Vanessa

Dear Modern Family,
you are obviously never going to hit Fizbo like heights again, so let’s let some other shows win Emmys, kay? Start with Parks and Rec. Amy should have won for the episode “the Debate.” 
Love, Vanessa

Dear Glee,
you are terrible and somewhat offensive 93% of the time, and then you set something really lovely and meaningful to a decent version of a song and I love you again. WTF.
Love, Vanessa

Dear The Middle,
I don’t know why no one is watching you either. You are actually quite funny, and Eden Sher is just brilliant as Sue, and I don’t know why she doesn’t have an Emmy either. Girlfriend COMMITS. way to rock, show. also, more with the kids conspiring together. Also, i still don’t know why they named their son Brick.
Love, Vanessa

Dear 30 Rock,
This is your last season, and you used to be one of the most fast paced, innovative comedies out there. So let’s just go balls to the walls for your final season okay? do every joke you can think of, and leave Kenneth in charge at the end.
Love, Vanessa

Dear Up All Night,
Eh. Not loving the reboot. Fix it.
Love, Vanessa

Dear Arrested Development:
I have seen you at least a dozen times and I STILL catch new jokes. Best make the currently shooting fourth season EVERY BIT AS TIGHT. 
Love, Vanessa

Dear Breaking Bad:
Love, Vanessa

Dear one hit wonders Kidnapped and Terriers:
Thanks for being on Netflix. 
Love, Vanessa

Dear Veronica Mars,
I still love you. Want to be besties? 
Love, Vanessa


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