lgbt

Not All Opinions Are Tolerable

In every election year, the progressive folk start talking about tolerance. Actually, progressive folk talk about tolerance a lot. It’s kind of our thing.

I’m a Unitarian Universalist, which of course ALSO means that I hear a lot of talk about tolerance. One of our seven principles is that every person has inherent worth and dignity. I believe this on a theoretical level. Some days I even believe it on an actual level. In fact, I always believe it enough to be, for example, anti torture. Congratulations Al-Queda, you have enough inherent worth and dignity that you should NOT be waterboarded!

Here’s the thing, though. Tolerance is great. In all seriousness, obviously you need to treat people well. Don’t be an asshole, is what I’m saying. But I feel like tolerance often gets confused with the idea that all opinions are automatically valid, because TOLERANCE!

But…the thing is not all opinions are valid.

The opinion that women should not have agency over their own bodies and should not be able to make decisions about their own reproductive choices is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that gay folks should not have the same rights as straight folks is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that people of color are somehow less than is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that global warming is not happening is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that torture is acceptable is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that “some women rape good” or it’s the victim’s fault if she was drunk or wearing a miniskirt, is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that religion or football or Boy Scouts gives you the right to cover up the systematic sexual abuse of children  is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that religion is an excuse for subjugation of any kind is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

The opinion that  hitting children is good parenting is bullshit, and I will not waste time discussing it.

There are lots of things that reasonable people can argue about. The drinking age. Whether marijuana should be legal. How best to improve our schools. Cloth or disposable diapers. Merit pay for teachers. The most ethical way to eat. Whether to use a clicker or just treats to train your dog. How to die well.  Whether goat cheese or Parmesan is better. The best kind of chocolate. What animals can be in zoos. Etc etc. And then there are things that are not debatable. There are opinions that are just not tolerable. If you hold these beliefs, well–hold them, fine. But my rights end where yours begin, and if you want to hold them, don’t you even think about putting them on anyone else. I’m tired of hearing about how good progressives or good UUs or whatever are tolerant. We can be tolerant in the sense that we do not hurt others, but that does not mean that we have to put up with opinions that are not tolerable. There is a right and a wrong, at least some of the time. It isn’t always absolute and there are lots of grays and nobody is ever all bad–as they say, even Hitler was a vegetarian–but there are still right and wrong. And the far right? They are just wrong. So yeah, that means I’m not going to respect you if you vote for Romney/Ryan. Because it is not ethical. And I can be tolerant and still assert your inherent worth and dignity if you vote for that ticket–but that doesn’t mean you are right, or that your opinions are tolerable.

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Homomentum

It is so good, so good, SO GOOD to have good news in this new world order in which the war on women is barely acknowledged, in which a huge number of people are denied basic rights.

 

BUT NOT IN NEW YORK.

Quoth the Gray Lady: BREAKING NEWS10:31 PM ET Gay Marriage Approved by New York Senate.

(MAYBE I got a little teary, there).

33-29, and the crowd went WILD. the Senate pres. kept banging his gavel and there was screaming and clapping and it warmed the cockles of my little heart.

OK, LGBT folks. We all know how this fight will end, and now we are one step closer.

 

 


Favorite Feminism Sundays

Do You Trust Women? (Bitch PhD, and possibly my favorite post on abortion ever).

Rape Culture 101 (Shakesville; I sometimes find Shakesville a bit…much somehow but I love this post, and in fact I tend to love everything Melissa McEwan writes about rape and rape culture).

I Know I Can Fight Rape Culture By… (Feministe: some of the comments are especially interesting, although as always some are just fuckwits).

Abortion Manual (from the now defunct blog Molly Saves the Day: I remember reading this post when it was first published in 2006, just after the South Dakota abortion ban. And yes, I think having coherent information about how to safely perform abortions is important–although I hope we never, ever have to use it).


Day of Silence


“your silence will not protect you.” -audre lord
Confession: I am not being silent today.
If I were going to classes I would be silent, because UDC remains woefully unaware of LGBT issues. But since what I’ve got going today is babysitting and analyssi, both of which require talking, I am not silent.
I have some mixed feelings about Day of Silence. I think it does a lot of good among those who are in environments where people may be unaware of LGBT issues–your average school or workplace, for example.
I also think that among people who are already aware, not talking is kind of useless.
But let’s note, folks. Let’s note that for LGBT people across the world, talking is not an option. It’s easy for me to forget that. I don’t have much of a problem saying that I’m bi, although even for me it can be hard. And I live in a very liberal city, have very liberal (and queer) friends, attend a super liberal church…I’m lucky, in other words. I’m in a good place to be for an LGBT person.
And it can be hard for ME.
Can you imagine how incredibly fucking hard it must be to be a queer kid growing up a place that constantly tells you are amoral, you are a bad person, you are going to hell, you are a sinner? Can you even begin to imagine?
I can’t.
And so today, let’s remember all those queer kids who don’t have a voice. And tomorrow, and the next day and the next day and the next, let’s scream for them.